• What advice do you have for dealing with a jealous partner, and just how much jealousy is healthy in a relationship?
Jealousy is a form of fear. The partner that is jealous does not yet have enough trust to have their fears calmed down. It’s a good rule to not be angry and frustrated with a partner who is jealous and fearful. Have some compassion for their anxiety and do your best to assure them that you choose them, that you are faithful to them, that you don’t lie or keep secrets, that you have their back. If you live a life of integrity and live up to these promises, their jealousy will calm down. Less jealousy is preferable of course, but it can take years to build the trust high enough for a partner to feel at ease. It is especially difficult for a partner who has been betrayed and let down in their family of origin or a prior adult relationship to trust again after having been let down. The partner of someone who has intense jealousy has to work harder to earn their partner’s trust with patience and devoted behavior.