• He cancels plans frequently and doesn’t seem interested in rescheduling.
You’ve made a plan to go out for dinner, but he flakes at the last minute. And then when you ask him if he wants to reschedule, he seems uninterested or non-committal. It’s like trying to schedule an appointment with your dentist – it just never happens.
• When discussing the future, he avoids committing to anything long-term.
Whenever you bring up something about the future that involves both of you (like planning a trip together), his eyes glaze over and his mind goes blank. You’re pretty sure that if you asked him what year it is right now, he’d have trouble answering.
• He rarely talks about his feelings or thoughts on relationships with you.
It feels like pulling teeth whenever you try to get him talking about how things are going between the two of you. You might as well be asking him about particle physics because getting any sort of emotional response from this guy is impossible.
• You feel like you are putting more effort into the relationship than he is.
If your relationship was a seesaw, it would be heavily weighted towards your side while he sits there picking his nose. It’s exhausting being the one who always has to initiate contact or make plans – sometimes it feels like dating yourself!
• He has a history of short-lived relationships or flings.
He’s got more exes than Taylor Swift and they all seemed to end after only a few months…hmm, maybe there’s a pattern here?
• His actions don’t align with what he says regarding commitment or your relationship.
He’ll say sweet nothings in your ear one moment and then disappear off-grid for days without explanation. It makes absolutely zero sense and leaves you feeling confused AF.
• He seems hesitant to introduce important people in his life (family/friends).
You’ve been dating for six months now but still haven’t met his mom. You’re starting to think that maybe he’s keeping you a secret…or worse, he doesn’t want them to meet because they’ll all see what a terrible boyfriend he is.
• When confronted about commitment issues, he becomes defensive or dismissive.
You try to have the “where is this going?” talk with him and suddenly it feels like you’ve just accused him of stealing your identity. He gets super defensive and starts deflecting – classic move from someone who’s afraid of commitment.
• He doesn’t prioritize spending time with you or making plans together.
If there was an award for world’s worst planner, he’d win hands down. It seems like every time you suggest doing something fun together, he has some excuse ready (usually involving work) as to why it can’t happen.
• You notice that he flirts with other people when you’re out together.
It makes your blood boil when you catch him flirting with the bartender while on a date with you. Like dude, I’m right here! If I wanted to watch someone else get hit on, I could do that at home by myself!
• He doesn’t seem interested in meeting your family or friends.
You keep inviting him over for Sunday dinner but each time it’s always some lame excuse as to why he can’t make it (“sorry babe my cat needs me”). Meanwhile, everyone in your life thinks you made up this imaginary boyfriend…
• When discussing the future, he only talks about short-term goals and avoids talking about anything long-term.
He acts like planning more than two weeks ahead is akin to signing away his soul. Sorry buddy but if we’re still dating six months from now then yes we need to plan where we’re going on vacation!
• He hasn’t made any effort to integrate his life with yours (e.g., no joint activities/sharing responsibilities).
Your relationship exists within its own little bubble – separate from the rest of your life. He’s never offered to help you with anything or suggested doing something together that doesn’t involve sitting on a couch watching Netflix.
• His behavior seems inconsistent – sometimes he’s very affectionate and attentive, while at other times distant and uninterested.
You’re starting to think that maybe he has multiple personalities because one day he’ll be showering you with attention and then the next it’s like you don’t exist. It’s enough to give anyone whiplash!
• He frequently mentions how busy he is, which may be an excuse for avoiding commitment.
If “I’m too busy” was a drinking game, you’d be drunk off your ass by now. You get it dude, work is important…but so is our relationship!