• What are your future goals and aspirations? – Where do you see yourself in five years, ten years, or even twenty? It’s important to know if he has a plan beyond binge-watching Netflix and eating pizza rolls.
• How do you handle conflicts or disagreements in a relationship? – Does he turn into the Hulk when things get tough, or does he have some magical communication skills that would put therapists out of business?
• Can you tell me about your family background and values? – Are they more like the Cleavers from “Leave it to Beaver” or the dysfunctional but lovable Bundys from “Married… with Children”?
• What qualities do you admire most in my daughter? – Is she just eye candy for him, or does he appreciate her intelligence, sense of humor, and ability to rock sweatpants like nobody else?
• How would you describe your communication style in relationships? – Does he speak fluent emoji or is his idea of deep conversation limited to grunts and nods?
• Have you ever been involved in any legal issues or trouble with the law? – We don’t want our precious daughter ending up as an accomplice on an episode of “Cops,” now do we?
• Are there any hobbies or interests that both of you enjoy doing together? – Do they share a love for extreme knitting while skydiving, or is their idea of quality time watching paint dry (literally)?
• Do you have a good understanding of consent, boundaries, and respect within a relationship? – We need reassurance that this lad knows how to treat our girl right without turning into Mr. Grey from those questionable books.
• Are there any specific cultural traditions or beliefs that are important to your family that may impact the relationship? – Will Christmas dinners be filled with awkward conversations about politics while wearing matching reindeer sweaters?
• Can I trust that my daughter will be safe and respected when she is with you? – Can he promise to protect her from creepy clowns, bad haircuts, and the never-ending threat of accidentally wearing socks with sandals?
• How do you handle stress and pressure in your life? – Does he have a healthy coping mechanism like yoga or meditation, or does he scream into pillows until his neighbors file noise complaints?
• What are your thoughts on marriage and long-term commitment? – Is he ready for “happily ever after” or would he prefer an open relationship where they both wear matching friendship bracelets instead of wedding rings?
• Can you provide examples of how you have supported my daughter during challenging times? – Has this Romeo been there through thick and thin, offering emotional support that rivals Oprah’s best advice-giving moments?
• Are there any past relationships that have had a significant impact on your life or personal growth? – Did his exes teach him valuable lessons about love, patience, and the importance of investing in good quality earplugs during arguments?
• Do you have a good understanding of consent, boundaries, and respect within a relationship? (Yes, we’re repeating it because it’s THAT important!) We want to make sure our girl won’t end up being part of some cheesy rom-com plot twist involving shady consent practices.
• Have you ever been involved in any abusive behavior towards anyone in the past? Because if so… well let’s just say we’ll be sharpening our pitchforks.
• How do you envision balancing career goals with maintaining a healthy relationship? Will they become power couple CEOs ruling the world while making time for candlelit dinners every night without breaking a sweat?
• What steps would you take to ensure open and honest communication between yourself and my daughter? Besides hiring interpreters fluent in sarcasm as needed.